The Patchy Peener

 Looks like a normal can of Ready Patch...

 

Until you turn is sideways.

Grab it and spread it.

(Thanks to Ralph for a great eye.)

Popping a Tart

So many dongs, so little time.

(Thanks to Johnny and Jimmy.)

The Shaver Schlong

Cuts through those tough beards.

(Thanks to Marty.)

The Packaged Peen

Apparently, it's packaging for beads.

Hmmm...

(Thanks to Marcy.)

The Dough Dong

Check that arm. Seems the Pillsbury Doughboy is a real Doughman now.

(Thanks to Raz for doing his homework.)

The Tweezer Pleaser

For those pesky little splinter you get in you.

(Thanks to Chris, who may or may not be on Family Guy.)