Captain's Log

Captain Kock in a clip from Star Trek, Season 1, Episode 7: "What Are Little Girls Made Of." Really.

(Thanks to Star nerd Jim and everyone else.)

Patched by Peen

Chelsea and her 18-year old son just spotted this conspicuous concrete cock lying in the streets of San Antonio. We're just as proud as she must be.

P in the V Chemistry

These are models of "two novel ruthenium polypyridine complexes, [Ru(bpy)₂Cl(BPEB)](PF₆) and {[Ru(bpy)₂Cl]₂(BPEB)}(PF₆)₂ (BPEB = trans-1,4-bis[2-(4-pyridyl)ethenyl]benzene)" from the article "{trans-1,4-Bis[(4-pyridyl)ethenyl]benzene}(2,2‘-bipyridine)ruthenium(II) Complexes and Their Supramolecular Assemblies with β-Cyclodextrin" in the journal Inorganic Chemistry, which you can read right here.

We couldn't understand a word of it. But we did notice one thing that looked familiar. And sexy.

(Thanks to Jeff, who found this somehow.)

Art Gone Dong

It's even got two eggs and a sausage.

(Thanks to Alyssa and her entire art class. Including the teacher.)

The Coffee Mug Monster

This is a mug for DE coffee. We're assuming that's supposed to be a coffee kettle on it. But. Yeah. Want a shot of cream in that?

(Thanks to the fearless Sivan.)

USBoner

A 2GB USB drive given out free at Kaplan legal events. Because lawyers are dicks.

(Thanks to Julian, who is probably not a dick.)

The Glass Goblin

Bob says his wife just bought this cookie jar. Clearly one of those self-gift type deals.

(Thanks, Bob and wife. Enjoy.)

The Hard-Ass Hard-On

This supposed gun suppressor is proof that this army sure has the biggest balls.

(Thanks to Leigh and a few others who sent this in.)

The Randy Rug

Supposedly these are sheepskin rugs that you can get from Kohl's. Yes, they come in black and white. And yes, the black is bigger. See for yourself here, click "More Views" and toggled between the two.

(Thanks, Hannah.)

The Jelly Bean Boner

Full of lots of Vitamin D.

(Thanks to Mark's eagle eye.)

The Euro Uh-Oh

Millions of Europeans are carrying around dongs in their pockets every day. And they never even know. Until now.


Since Norway isn't part of the EU, it doesn't make it on the Euro coins and just sort of leaves Finland and Sweden hanging there.


(Thanks to Rodent of Unusual Size, KISS and everyone once that's sent this in.)

The Penisula

This little guy and his friends popped up on a tech company's campus.

(Thanks, Jason.)

The Soapy Schlong

Sort of defeats the purpose of washing your hands.

(Thanks to this beaut from Kiersten's in-law's soap dish.)

Rest In Penis

Looks pretty Harden.

(Thanks, Kelly.)

Eggplantjob

What do you think? Italian or Chinese?

(Thanks, Michelle.)

The Port of Penis

Aerial map of Port Lavaca/Port of Comfort on the Texas Gulf Coast. All hands on dick!

(Thanks, Randall.)

Neon Hard-On

Accidental sex?

(Thank to Jason on this one.)

The Cheetode

Comes in the Baked Boner and Fried Phallus flavors.

(Thanks to Carline.)

The Water Tower Wang

Near Kent/Akron, Ohio. Sure, it's an Accidental Dong. But upside down it's just a surprised face.

(Thanks, Ken.)

The Scott Baioner

Definitely a popperazzi shot.

(Thanks to Tanner at Buzzfeed.)

The Ballsack Eggplant

We can't tell if we're sad or impressed.

(Either way, thanks to Lauren and Steve who actually bought this just for the blog.)

Kitty Cock

Can I haz a dickfaze?

(Thanks to Rachel and Bagzz)

John Hancock's Grave

Really.

(Thanks to Polish superstar Keith.)

The Elusive Shadow Schlong

Now you see it. In 6 to 7 minutes, you don't.

(Bonus points to Mitch for life-like detail.)

The Fuzzy Cocktus

Little guy just sorta popped right up there.

(Thanks, Toby.)

The Delicious Monster

This is fruit from a plant known as the Monstera Delcisiosa. Which we're going to take to mean "The Delicious Monster." Chew on that.

(Thanks to Curtiss with two s's.)

Helpin' Paw with the Wood

I wonder what's in that "mysterious bag." Looks like the kid does too.

(Thanks Shaun.)

The Death Dick

Nothing here is funny. Except the fact this grave is a giant boner.

(Thanks to Sam.)

Smells Like Clam Before and After

Save the best for last, eh?

(Amy and John sure do. Thanks, guys.)

Hung Like a Hospital

This Catholic hospital is supposed to look like a cross. Hmmm. Accidental Not Cross.

(Our thanks to Elise who has the pleasure of serving there.)

The Cashew Creature

If you look at it this way, it's happy. If you flip it upside down, it just seems sad.

(Thanks to Cashewdong who went to all the trouble of registering that as their email to send this.)

The Dick Corner

This may be a sign it's time to get your pipe checked.

(Huge thanks to DanK who runs his own amazing blog Just Kidding, But Seriously. Check it out.)

Beet Your Carrot

This monster grew together in Jeff's garden after he left them a bit too long.

See? You can still be a vegetarian and love a big piece of meat.

The Williamsburg Wiener

According to Philip, this is a rhubarb forcing pot from Colonial Williamsburg. According to us, it's definitely not.

You gotta make sure to watch these sorts of things out properly.

Mushroom Monday

Thanks to Sachi who's got a real head for nature.

The Old Man's Little Man

This guy's just hanging out at Brown's Wharf Inn in Boothbay Harbor, Maine. But if you view it from the side, he's really hanging out.


(Thanks to Michelle.)

Accidental Dong sticks it to Huffington Post

Accidental Dong just made the landing page of Huffington Post's Comedy section for "7 Sites You Should Be Wasting Time on Right Now."


We're already at #1, but support your schlong by clicking here and giving us a rating of 10. (And if you vote down the other sites, we won't tell anyone either.)

Thanks for all the love/dongs!

I Spy Schlong

This is the now-defunct Teufelsberg spy site set up by the US government in former West Berlin. Sprechen Sie Dong?

(Thanks to Phil who actually worked under the left nut.)

Camera Cover Cock

I don't know what this does. But I can imagine a few things it could do. Get yours here.

(Thanks to Neox.)

The Cherry Popper

Does it look infect?

(via Buzzfeed/Eliot/Brylan)

Pecker Pastries

Tragically, this little Japanese cookie doesn't look all that satisfying.

(Arigato to Daisy.)

VeggieTallywackers

Hmm. Just take a second to think about what these cookies will look like. Obviously the folks at VeggieTales didn't.

(Thanks to Lyvvie, Chris, Margo and everyone else who thought about sending this in.)

Mushroom Monday

That's a phallic fungus.

(Thanks to @poopette.)

The Mexican Monster

Usually tequila has the opposite effect.

(Thanks to Nadia, who knows a thing or two about both.)

The Big Bush Boner

Impressive, but I'd get that left one checked out.

(Thanks to Marge.)