The Toothpaste Peen

Stick it in your mouth at least twice a day for two minutes.

(Thanks to Lena.)

The Stormy Schlong

It's gonna be an effing downpour.

(Thanks to Will.)

The Silhouette Shirt Schlong

He's got no arms but definitely has a third leg.

(Thanks to Vianney.)

Logging Dong

This dude's got too rods.

(Thanks to Josiah.)

The Sneaky Schlong

This faux finger phallus showed up in a program for next weeke's NYC Wine and Food Festival. It's supposed to be a thumb. Supposed to be.

The Sperminal Map

The Vancouver airport seems a bit cocky, no?

(Thanks to Ellen.)

The La-Z-Boner

It massages too.

(Thanks to Jezebel.)

The Third Leggplants

A bevy of veggie dongs.

(Thanks to Sarah, Brett, Dorothy and Hethyr.)

The True Woody

This root's got rod.

(Thanks to Pierre.)

The Chicken Finger 'n Balls

A little fried phallus for ya.

(Thanks to Rebecca.)